Friday, February 15, 2013

THE COSMIC KEY (mini-comic, 1987)

The Cosmic Key is a 1987 Masters of the Universe mini-comic (the last). No author or artist is credited, quite possibly because no one wanted to admit involvement. Here, The Evil Cloud appears to bestow power upon Skeletor.

The Evil Cloud! How many trees died for this six-page abomination? One could complain that six pages isn’t enough space to tell a coherent story, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t going to happen regardless. To wit: Blade and Saurod talk like they’re reading off their toy packaging. Gwildor gets summoned out of a nearby pond like he’s the spawn of a union between the Lady of the Lake and Gizmo from Gremlins. The resolution doesn’t make any sense whatsoever of any kind. And The Evil Cloud is a real thing that happens (he would go on to star in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer).  

Being kind, the art is substandard, as is the coloring, and one is forced to conclude that The Evil Cloud is the villain here for the sole reason that he’s so easy to draw. Let’s start by saying that Skeletor’s face looks really good. Moving on, He-Man looks like he’s wielding the sword that the She-Ra action figure came with. The Sorceress does the Dhalsim yoga float through half the issue. The climax involves a tornado that’s twice the size of the planet. Blade has that weird thing from the concept art over his mouth. Skeletor is wearing the Terror Bra. And backgrounds? We ain’t got no backgrounds. We don’t need no backgrounds! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ backgrounds!

Calling this the worst mini-comic of them all is just too easy. This one’s in a category all its own.

The Evil Cloud!

RECOMMENDED AGAINST (but you know you’re going to look at it anyway)

Read it HERE