HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE #7–9

***SPOILERS***

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe #7–9 (DC) are written by Dan Abnett and illustrated by Rafael Kayanan and Michael S. O’Hare. Here, when Randor leads an attack on a Horde archaeological dig, Hordak nukes the site from orbit, leading the Heroic Warriors to undertake a forbidden journey to Subternia in an attempt to resurrect the Sorceress. No, seriously.  

From the first panel, Abnett tries to go high fantasy with the dialogue and narration. You’ll recall that Giffen did too—sometimes. Abnett, at least, is consistent, and so it works a lot better. The scripting isn’t anything fantastic, but there’s a conspicuous absence of any petty bickering. In fact, Abnett’s Teela isn’t too far off from the 200X Teela: sassy, but not obnoxious so. On the heels of the complete disaster that was Giffen’s scripting, this is a major upgrade that imbues every page of these comics with the refreshing breeze of not flagrantly sucking.  

Beyond the fact that on the face of it, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, the plot is also fair; I’m not sorry to move the story away from the Horde for a while. Unfortunately, the pace isn’t great. There’s too much fighting and too much expository speechifying (including a great deal of mystical mumbo jumbo concerning the Goddess). Since we’re not getting any character development for any of these people, we need to be getting a good amount of storytelling accomplished, and we just aren’t—there seems to be a ton of ground to cover (or to skip over) to resolve this storyline by the end of #12.   

Other thoughts on the writing: Iron Pants He-Man still isn’t doing much; he’s just part of the team. In fact, it’s obvious who the most powerful of the Heroic Warriors is: Moss Man. For reals. It’s not even close. And everybody just calls Iron Pants He-Man “Adam.” Given all this, it might be time to retitle the book. If you don’t like Adam and the Masters of the Universe, plain old Masters of the Universe would certainly fit better, as would, perhaps, Justice League of Eternia.

The decision to make Grizzlor, of all people, the Horde’s sophisticated tactician is an interesting one, but it works well enough. Man-At-Arms is conspicuous by his absence, although Randor fills his role as the group’s strategic planner, wearer of sweet knobbly armor, and  one that has a gun. Abnett also seems to be going out of his way to drop these characters’ “real” names from the MOTU Classics line whenever possible. Gur’rull Gu’rroooow? Sure, buddy. Whatever you want. Also, we really could have used some better editing.

Kayanan does the art for #7 and #8. There are some nice touches: a lot of the classic vehicles appear, for example, and Grizzlor’s cloak is clearly made from the Mattel Fright Zone dragon puppet (but why does Stratos look like Spider-Man?). However, Kayanan uses heavy, messy inks, his figures often look flat, and his human faces aren’t good at all—it’s an ugly style that doesn’t work for me at all. It also makes for a jarring transition to O’Hare’s art in #9, which is clean, bright, and vibrant. It’s a style that fits what He-Man is supposed to be all about (although…would one background be too much to ask for?). The short-term good news is that O’Hare is listed as the artist on #10–12. The only other art-related comment I have is that the cover for #7 is probably the worst I’ve seen since Marvel put Hordak’s giant head on the cover of Masters of the Universe #4 (in which he didn’t even appear) in 1986.

So then: while these are, overall, some pretty mediocre comics, they’re also the most unterrible He-Man comics we’ve seen in many moons. By God, these things are readable. I’ve been subjected to too much to get my hopes up, but #10–12 certainly have the potential to be the most unterrible comics yet.

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THE AMAZING SCREW-ON HEAD AND OTHER CURIOUS OBJECTS by Mike Mignola

The Amazing Screw-On Head and Other Curious Objects (2010) collects Mike Mignola’s eponymous Eisner-winning one-shot and a number of short stories, including “The Magician and the Snake,” which he co-authored with his daughter Katie, then seven years old. In the title story, President Lincoln enlists Screw-On Head to thwart the plans of the nefarious Emperor Zombie.

In many ways, Screw-On Head is very typical Mignola: great quirky characters, fantastically atmospheric art, and light and minimalist plotting and stories. There are some obvious similarities between numerous Hellboy stories and Screw-On Head, although the latter is decidedly campier. It’s also extremely amusing, and it’s remarkable how effectively Mignola juxtaposes his dark gothic imagery with silly dialogue.

Mignola states in the notes that “There are no untold Screw-On Head stories,” and he’s absolutely right – he does everything he needs to do with the characters, scenarios, and genre in this single comic. In broad strokes, he accomplishes quite a bit, and better this than running the ideas into the ground.

(A note: I picked up this book after seeing the 2006 animated Amazing Screw-On Head pilot, which I found very funny. Good as this book is, and in spite of everything I’ve just written, I think I like it better as a cartoon, what with the fleshed-out backstories and the campiness and the comic delivery.)

The other stories in this volume are only peripherally related, if at all, to Screw-On Head. The heartwarming (and Eisner-winning) “The Magician and the Snake” is popular with fans, but my favorite of the rest of the stories is “The Prisoner of Mars,” which shares the title story’s manically tongue-in-cheek tone. The others are enjoyable, if light on storytelling punch.

Fair warning: this book is 104 pages, but a large chunk of that (close to 20%, maybe) is sketches and pinups. It’s an extraordinarily quick read.

Short as it is, with great atmosphere and entertaining stories, The Amazing Screw-On Head and Other Curious Objects is another solid offering from Mignola.

RECOMMENDED

FORGING THE DARKSWORD by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

Forging the Darksword is a 1987 fantasy novel by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, the first in their Darksword trilogy. Here, in a world where nearly everyone has some sort of magical power, the crown prince is born without it; thus a candidate to fulfill a prophecy of the world’s destruction, he’s sentenced to death.

A world where everyone has magic is reasonably fertile storytelling ground, and to their credit, the authors have created it in such a way that it bears no resemblance whatsoever to Piers Anthony’s Xanth world, which is what the basic premise calls immediately to mind. The authors have also done a thorough job of setting up this world’s society. In spite of their best efforts, however, the characters’ dread of even rudimentary technology feels a little bit silly. I suppose there’s a half-formed commentary on superstition and religious oppression in here that’s scheduled to be born in a later volume.

The plotting is Forging the Darksword’s most serious problem. The first third of the book is bogged down in exposition, as so often happens with fantasy works, but that’s hardly the worst of it. There are too many unnecessary scenes to list, ones that don’t advance the plot or the characters in meaningful ways, and as it plods across a generation, the story is just too meandering: many events seem like little more than everyday life, and although there’s some intrigue after the first third, many story elements that are supposed to be mysterious and suspenseful just aren’t. Overall, the book has very little energy, and the reader very well find himself waiting for something meaningful to happen, something important, but little does, and Forging the Darksword ends up feeling like little more than tedious setup for the second book. It piques the interest here and there, but has trouble ever sustaining it.  

The characters are also problematic. Joram isn’t the slightest bit interesting or sympathetic, which is a major deal-breaker given that the trilogy centers around him. Saryon is certainly both, but he’s too passive to have the story center around him. Simkin is a vaguely amusing caricature of Orczy’s Sir Percy Blakeney, and the sort of deus ex machina character these authors like to keep in their back pocket at all times. No one else is remotely compelling; the authors are so secretive about Vanya’s machinations that it’s hard to stay interested in what he’s actually up to.   

The end result is that Forging the Darksword is a slog. (On the bright side, given the way Bantam Spectra has done the plot summaries, you can pretty much just read the back covers of the first two books and then go straight to the third one.) And this review wouldn’t be complete without a mention of the authors’ repeated and jarring abuse of the word “literally.”

As a fan of the Dragonlance and Death Gate Cycle series, I found Forging the Darksword to be a considerable disappointment. There are sparks of life here, but they aren’t enough for me to continue with this series.

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MESSIAH: ORIGIN

Messiah: Origin is a 2013 graphic novel by Mark Arey, Kai Carpenter, and Matt Dorff. It covers the biblical narrative from the annunciation of the nativity of John the Baptist through the beginning of John’s ministry.

This isn’t a comic book in the conventional sense; the panels are sequential, but all the text is adapted straight from the New Testament (specifically, from John 1, Luke 1–2, Matthew 1–3, and Mark 1). As such, it often feels more like an art book. This is further compounded by the fact that, as Dorff acknowledges, the layouts borrow heavily (read: copy) from various iconic painters and filmmakers.

The unequivocal highlight of Messiah: Origin is Kai Carpenter’s outstanding art. His faces and expressions are fantastic, which is essential given the more static nature of the storytelling here. His use of light and color are also excellent, and the end product is often captivating.

If you’re looking for a comic book version of the Christmas story, Messiah: Origin really isn’t it, but it is a great looking and worthwhile piece of work.

RECOMMENDED

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”