MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE #11 (Star, 1988)

Masters of the Universe #11, “Whose Enemy Am I Anyway?” is by Caragonne, Wilson, and Bulanadi. Here, He-Man and Hordak lose their memories, then team up. Now featuring characters from the She-Ra cartoon!

Are we sure Mike Carlin didn’t sneak back in to write the first few pages of this issue? Hordak has an absurdly vast invasion force – which is easily thwarted by bumbling jive-talking caricatures of heroes.

Once the story gets going, however, we do somewhat better. Amnesia is a tired old plot, but making enemies team up is a reasonably fresh take on it. Hordak gets some good character development here, even if there’s an obvious parallel between him and Darth Vader. We also get He-Man reaffirming the value of life, which is always nice. (And unrelated to the plot, Caragonne makes Battle Cat contemptuous of Cringer, which is a curious decision.)

Solid work again from the regular art team, although on page 20 it kind of looks like Man-At-Arms might have landed his ship right on top of some people. And between the beginning of the issue and the end, letterer Jack Morelli forgot that “Grayskull” is spelled with an a.

This one’s the weakest of Caragonne’s contributions to the comic, but it does more good than bad (if barely).

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

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HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MAGAZINE #13

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Magazine #13 is the Winter 1988 issue. This one’s still prominently featuring characters from the movie (the ones with toys, I mean).

The Captain Power ads are really getting hot and heavy. We’ve got a spotlight on, surprisingly, the currently-relevant (at least sort of) Jason Bateman, although it features the never-relevant Teen Wolf Too. Make your own relevance joke about the Tony Danza spot on the facing page.

In this issue’s comic story, “Time Trap,” which also includes She-Ra (she’s also got the usual three-page story, plus too many items in the trivia challenge), Blade and Saurod are now slumming for Hordak, Gwildor uses the Cosmic Key to do penny-ante magic, and Hordak travels into the future why, exactly?

This issue’s non-He-Man-related content features spotlights on various Winter Olympians you probably don’t remember (like the vast majority of Olympians of all years and seasons). There’s also a non-He-Man activity here (which is pretty neat, actually – but think how much neater it would be if it were He-Man). Otherwise, the activities aren’t very impressive (two mazes?).  

No poster in this issue (not even of the cover); instead, we get some painted gift wrap with some rather amusing scenes on it.

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THE COSMIC KEY (mini-comic, 1987)

The Cosmic Key is a 1987 Masters of the Universe mini-comic (the last). No author or artist is credited, quite possibly because no one wanted to admit involvement. Here, The Evil Cloud appears to bestow power upon Skeletor.

The Evil Cloud! How many trees died for this six-page abomination? One could complain that six pages isn’t enough space to tell a coherent story, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t going to happen regardless. To wit: Blade and Saurod talk like they’re reading off their toy packaging. Gwildor gets summoned out of a nearby pond like he’s the spawn of a union between the Lady of the Lake and Gizmo from Gremlins. The resolution doesn’t make any sense whatsoever of any kind. And The Evil Cloud is a real thing that happens (he would go on to star in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer).  

Being kind, the art is substandard, as is the coloring, and one is forced to conclude that The Evil Cloud is the villain here for the sole reason that he’s so easy to draw. Let’s start by saying that Skeletor’s face looks really good. Moving on, He-Man looks like he’s wielding the sword that the She-Ra action figure came with. The Sorceress does the Dhalsim yoga float through half the issue. The climax involves a tornado that’s twice the size of the planet. Blade has that weird thing from the concept art over his mouth. Skeletor is wearing the Terror Bra. And backgrounds? We ain’t got no backgrounds. We don’t need no backgrounds! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ backgrounds!

Calling this the worst mini-comic of them all is just too easy. This one’s in a category all its own.

The Evil Cloud!

RECOMMENDED AGAINST (but you know you’re going to look at it anyway)

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HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MAGAZINE #12

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Magazine #12 is the Fall 1987 issue. This one feels fairly sparse in terms of content – or at least, interesting content.

The cover is misleading; there’s no movie content to speak of within. What we do have is a spotlight on actor Peter Billingsley for a movie other than A Christmas Story (which means you probably didn’t see it; but, fun fact: he was also in Iron Man). There are also two more pages of un-He-Manly content here.

On the story front, not only do we get a perfectly coherent three-page She-Ra story, the comic story, “Rescue King Randor,” is by far the best we’ve had in many issues.

Activities include guidelines for do-it-yourself Masters of the Universe costumes (with somewhat more helpful pictures), another worthless connect-the-dots, and some other easy stuff.

Noteworthy ads include those for free Legos when you buy Jell-O pops, Disney Channel programming that includes live-action Dumbo and Winnie the Pooh shows I don’t remember at all, plus an exercise program led by a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume, and another full-page plug for the Power Tour masquerading as content.

Beginning a trend of posters that don’t completely make sense, this issue’s single Earl Norem poster features He-Man and Clamp Champ rescuing King Randor from the Snake Men, plus Ninjor, in Preternia.  

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